


"These Violent Delights have Violent Ends"

by recklesslee



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Death, Drug Addiction, Drugs, M/M, Overdosing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 08:18:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4093726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/recklesslee/pseuds/recklesslee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes meeting the right person leads you down the wrong path in life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"These Violent Delights have Violent Ends"

When Arthur first met Merlin he knew he was bad news. He looked like he was trying to fit every starving artist cliche in the books. Slicked back hair, red plaid shirt under a slightly too large leather jacket, ripped black jeans that hugged all the curves. The fact they were in a seedy pub in South London on a Saturday night, a live band of questionable merit blaring their music through the speaker system with so much reverb he could hardly tell apart the notes, was a sign he should've turned tail and ran. But there was something about that man that drew him in, with the first wink from over his shoulder as he walked away from Arthur after taking a sip of his beer he was addicted. He just didn't realize Merlin was only to be the first of many.

Arthur returned to the bar often after that. Never for the atmosphere, always for Merlin. He was just so different from what Arthur was used to. He didn't know anyone whose clothes looked so worn and vintage because they actually owned them for years. Merlin didn't buy clothes for the aesthetic. His money went towards his vices and nothing else. Arthur thought he was a bit of a unicorn to Merlin too. A prim and proper rich boy who found himself in the seedy area of town because his friends wanted to schlep with the lower classes. They gravitated toward each other. Couldn't seem to keep away. Soon Arthur found himself falling to all of Merlin's vices too.

The first time Arthur had ecstasy it was to impress Merlin. He had smoked some pot before, but Arthur felt embarrassed that was all he could say in front of Merlin's friends. So when Merlin handed him a pill and looked so deeply into Arthur's eyes, a devious smile pulling at his lips, Arthur didn't have it in him to reject the offer. He spent that night dancing with Merlin vigorously, so hopped up on energy, able to feel every beat of the music in his core, visualizing colours with every note. Merlin and he fucked twice in the stalls of the bathroom. The dirt on the floor, the messages and pictures etched into the side of the door as Merlin pounded into him combined to create an almost euphoric feeling in Arthur. 

For Arthur, Merlin was a religion and he had just seen god. 

Nothing mattered anymore after that. Chasing that high with Merlin by his side was all he desired. Arthur had the money and Merlin knew the way. Things escalated. Merlin and Arthur would shoot up, or sniff to feel the next big buzz. The only thing better than that first hit, being able to feel everything so deeply, taste Merlin's soul through his kisses, feel that intense spike of love and desire followed shortly by a horniness that could only be satiated by the man he was with. Creating infinities together, universes and galaxies exploding and reforming through their union. Arthur was experiencing existence with Merlin. They were perfect together and made better with every enhancement a hit would provide. 

People were beginning to notice. No, that isn't quite true. They began noticing long ago, but Arthur didn't care enough to pay attention. His father wanted him to go to rehab, his sister begged him to leave Merlin. They didn't understand that everything Arthur experienced with Merlin, made the time before meeting him seem wasted and hollow. No matter how much Uther screamed or Morgana begged he would refuse. Merlin was the only thing worth living for, and he could do no wrong. Life was too good. Sex, drugs, and love would guide Arthur to completion.

They had shot up on a hot afternoon. Arthur was lying naked on a mattress on the floor of his studio. They had been kissing lazily discussing all the things they would do together, planning to leave because they could not take the phone calls, the unwelcomed visits to the house (he should never have given out his key), the attempted interventions. The stray sun rays peeking through the window illuminated the dust in the air. Arthur followed a line to Merlin's face, bright and open. His dark hair, messy on his head, shimmered in the light like black ice. His blue eyes were warm on Arthur's face. When he pushed into Arthur he felt complete. The hit had leveled him, made him feel a calm that only made each thrust feel more intense. He came staring into Merlin's eyes, a smile on his face and a whispered, "I love you". 

Merlin woke to Morgana in the room. She was sitting on the one rickety chair present in the place. He honestly thought he was still tripping. He reached over to wake Arthur. When he placed his hand on Arthur's chest he recoiled. Arthur had never felt that cold before. When he looked properly, he was even more confused. Arthur was pale and rigid. He was lying in an odd position, his hair matted and out of place. His eyes were slightly open but did not seem to be seeing, and his chest was not rising. Merlin did not understand. He placed his hand on Arthur's cheek and wiped a bit of the vomit from his mouth. He began to shake Arthur, whispering, "wake up love," and kissing at Arthur's forehead.

It was then he became aware of how loudly Morgana was sobbing. She was quivering on the chair, looking to be on the brink of collapse. Merlin spotted the cellphone lying discarded on the floor near her chair. None of it made sense. Even after the ambulance arrived, after the EMT announced that the patient was dead on arrival, and they began to collect the body Merlin still did not understand. They were invincible. This was some sick joke.

He wasn't invited to the funeral. 

Life felt empty after that. Merlin went about his days following the same routine but without his sun. He had no sense of direction in his life, he was a puppet going about the motions of being a real boy. Merlin had not cried so much in his life. He spent most days in the pub where they met. He found it easiest to remember the ghost of Arthur's fingers on his neck, a whisper into his ear. He could almost feel Arthur there next to him when he was high. It almost made the heart ache go away.

He ran into Morgana on the street in the short days after the funeral. He doesn't really remember what happened during that meeting, but he does remember her chocked words before he was left alone again,

"He never should have met you."

And she was right.

**Author's Note:**

> From the random reading of the quote that inspired the title came this thought:
> 
> How about a story where this character falls in love. The person he meets is on the wrong path. He gets him into drugs and all sort of questionable culture. He starts doing very bad things for his fix. It starts to control him. He can't get out of it even though people are trying to help him. He doesn't care what can go wrong, with the drugs he feels invincible. He loves the feeling of being high, more than he loves himself. He dies, suddenly, no glamour, and he leaves people upset. And the one who gets him into it, who loved him, is left to deal with his actions.
> 
> But more accurately I hate writing downer works but here I f**king am.


End file.
